Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
