dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
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