What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I want to fling myself into the sun
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