Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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