I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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