You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You pole danced in your parka.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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