What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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