Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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