Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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