Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
