We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
