A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
