Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
there is glitter all over my balls
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