It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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