if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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