I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
