Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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