Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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