first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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