theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
