We named our party play list daddy issues
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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