i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize