I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
