what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
