can u get pink eye on your cock?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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