sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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