He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
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