Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
