We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize