"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I fill condoms, not promises.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
