Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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