you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
