plz talk dirty to me
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
