How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
