I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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