The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
