just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
