You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize
