he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Are we still banned from the library?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
