I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
