Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize