i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
