but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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