So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
