and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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