whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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