she kept yelling 'call me bella'
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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