watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
