If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
