We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
