Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
