Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
