**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
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