And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
