So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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