i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
