Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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