So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I think my moral compass just broke
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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