U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
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