Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
