I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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