No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
