Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
